It's a revelation, not resolution

I haven't had the inspiration to write recently, I guess you could call it writers block. 

Since it's 2016, I thought I would do the cliche "what 2015 taught me" blog.

1. Self Control 

 saying no to friends and opportunities to make sure I am taken care of. I've had to say no to a lot of people, and a lot of things I really wanted to do to make sure I had money to pay for my bills, and for things I want to save up to do in the future. Saying no was so hard for so many reasons, but it taught me that self control and looking at the big picture is just as important as taking care of yourself. 

2. Independence 

I had to learn how to be independent from my parents. Living in my own apartment taught me that. I had to work to pay my rent, gas, and groceries. Which is more than what many people do at my age. I learned to be frugal with my money. Gaining independence gave me a new sense of self worth, a confidence I didn't know existed within me. Being self sufficient, is a great feeling, especially when you're young and trying to figure out what life has to offer. 

3. Self Worth 

I dated boys throughout 2015, and learned that I don't need to find someone to make me feel whole and complete. I am who I am, and that is enough. I am a young, beautiful 20 year old woman - and no one can take that away from me. Yes I realize I called myself beautiful, because I now know I have a heart that is caring and loyal, and I am beginning to believe its reflecting on to my outside. I am fine where I am, and I want to explore who I can be. No one can define me, or change how I feel about myself, or try to change the path I want to put myself on. 

4. Uncertainty

I've always hated when things were up in the air, always gave me anxiety. I am such a control freak, and when things are out of my control I can get real ugly, real fast. And after this whole year of learning who I am, and my independence. Possibility and uncertainty is okay. Yes it's okay to let loose and be okay with the plan you have no control over. You can't control the waves of the ocean, so why try to control where life can take you? I am more than fine not having a five-year-plan, or plan after I graduate because I know I will be fine and figure it out as I go. 

5. No one owes me anything

I spent a good portion of this year being angry because so many things were happening that I didn't understand. Not only in my personal life, but things happening all over. I sat out a semester of my sorority, and felt so isolated and forgotten about. I felt immense pressure to have an answer to everyone if I was coming back in the spring, and if I was going to take another leadership position. The answer is yes, I plan on finishing my last semester, and no I think I will sit and enjoy life. Friends, guys, and family has came along and left, and the thing is, they don't owe me an explanation of why. Lastly, I am fine with a small or large circle, happiness comes from me, not the people around me. 

2016 will be a year of a lot of change, uncertainty and growing as I transition from 20 to 21. A year to find creativity, inspiration and adventure from anywhere my heart takes me. A year to feel more comfortable in my own skin - a year to fall more in love with myself. I am making no "New Years Resolution" because things that are changing within me and around me are things that are out of my control. Life will be bright, and successful. I am so excited to see progress by this time next year, or where I'll end up. 

-M    

An Ode to Ya'll

While complaining on how I feel unaccepted by the people around me, I forgot to praise those who do accept me. This is an open letter, or an {ode} to those who are my best friends in the entire world. You all are what keep me grounded, sane, loved and remind me I am loved.

Dear Morgan, 

Currently listening to Dave Matthew as I type your letter (The Space Between)

Where can I even begin on our journey of friendship? Oh yes, Notre Dame soccer camp of '08. You have been my go to, my heart and soul. I cannot thank you enough for our friendship that endures distance and so many memories. Between Myspace comments, to road trips to horror houses in the middle of nowhere to supporting each other's dreams. I love you, and the woman I have watched you become. You are a great friend, a great mother to Roberto, and a sister I've been blessed with. Though we may have our differences, we will always be there for each other - time has proved our friendship is for life. Thank you, for you being you. My poofy haired, eccentric Blair to my Serena. Love you forever. 

Dear Sarah, 

BEAR

I hated your guts, I truly did - because you were my competition on the soccer team. But who knew being forced to playing on the same scrimmage team would end up making us both dance in the middle of a game as Beyonce's single lady dance? - I surely didn't know that would be the driving factor into you coming into my life. You're my PIC, my fun and sunshine in life. You are always down for an adventure or a Miley Cyrus sing-a-long. We are completely opposite, but that's what's beautiful about our friendship. I can't thank you enough for encouraging me to put Sriracha on everything I eat (especially Mac-n-cheese and pizza). I love break out dance sessions with you, living with you and becoming your family. No matter where life takes us, I will always be here for you, and love you. I am blessed to have a friend like you in life, and for life,

Dear Carl, 

European adventures for life

Carly Ann, you're my little sister, first and foremost. I'm glad we became friends in art class (hopefully not scared of me anymore). We have been on many adventures together - in nessy, in europe,and the drunk tank of Churchill Downs. Life with you has been fun and well worth the tears over rice and goat cheese. Thank you for being the older one in the relationship and taking care of me. Your maturity, and grace is inspiring, and your drive to out do anyone is admirable. Don't ever stop shooting for the stars, and never let anyone tell you, you can't. You're an amazing friend and you're going to do amazing things in life, and I am so happy I get to experience your personal growth and watch you enjoy your new family in Kappa Delta and your college life. Mad dawg & Yung Carl 4lyfe. 

Dear Aidyn, 

My baby sis

You may not believe me now, but I love you more than anything my sweet baby sister. God truly graced my life with such a caring and loving little sister. Yes we may want to kill each other 99.9 percent of the time, but I love that .1 percent of the time where we laugh together. I have {secretly} loved watching you grow up. You are a beautiful person inside and out. Aidz you are funny, and so compassionate to everyone and that is something I admire you for. I may not be nice {100 percent of the time} but I do love hanging out and watching vines and annoying mom and dad with you. Never stop being yourself, or laughing at short jokes - because they will come the rest of your life.

Dear Walker, 

An oldie but goody 

We have literally been through it all. Friends, to boyfriend and girlfriend to hating each other to being friends again. you understand me better than anyone (other than the people above). I can't thank you enough for being the only person who can tolerate the ugly Madison cry & listening to me cry on the phone. Or thank you enough for late night drives and jams while getting Wendy's Frosties, or just hanging out. We are completely opposite and different people than what we started off as, but I am blessed to have grown up with you. You are an amazing man Bub, and I love that we are there for each other always. We may get on each others nerves, or go days without talking but I know as long as I have you in my life, I can do anything. Thanks for being rational for me, and reminding me I'm crazy. Life with you in it makes me smile, thank you for the past eight years of friendship and then some.

Without you all in my life, I wouldn't be the person I am today. Thank you all for supporting me in life, and being there for laughter, hardship, and life in general. "When I count my blessings, I count {ya'll} twice." I have so much love for you all in my heart. 

-M

Persecution

This is ME

Through my fall semester of my junior year I have came across many personal convictions, many social persecutions. I have never felt more alone and more scared to be myself in public. Though I have my family and friends, I don't feel completely understood and completely able to open up and speak about myself, my opinions, and ideas until I made this blog. 

I have struggled to find a church community here in Bowling Green, I have struggled to make new friends outside of my sorority, and who am I kidding even inside my sorority. Being 20 is harder than what people give it credit for. You're not {20-fun} and you're not a child and expected to know what you want to do with your life. Honestly, the only thing I know at 20, is that I am scared to death of not finding a job after college, not being able to live out my dreams, and for the most part scared of not being able to connect and make friends. 

Lately the friends I do have been walking away because my political beliefs, my moral compass, and my belief and undying love for Jesus. { 2 Timothy 3:12 Yes, and all that will live godly in Christ Jesus shall suffer persecution.}  - And at this moment in my life, this verse is very alive, day in and day out. 

I am especially tested in one of my college courses, Government and Ethics. no it's not about ethics inside the U.S. government, because we know there isn't much there. It is about ethical behavior, and moral justifications of actions within ideals and the Constitution. And in class we are going over if the Constitution is color-blind; and if it should be, and why. And a girl in class goes: "this class will be interesting Wednesday" and another classmate asks her why, and she said: "because of opinions of the other side of the classroom." Myself and one other right-winged student sit next to each other. A class of 22 students, and only two are conservative. To say I hate this class is an understatement. I sit there in class now in silence because if I say anything I am persecuted, but yet I tolerate my classmates and show them respect in the hour and 20 minutes I am forced to sit there. But if only the left could practice what they preach - tolerance. 

{Romans 14:1-4 As for the one who is weak in faith, welcome him, but not to quarrel over opinions.  One person believes he may eat anything, while the weak person eats only vegetables. Let not the one who eats despise the one who abstains, and let not the one who abstains pass judgment on the one who eats, for God has welcomed him.  Who are you to pass judgment on the servant of another? It is before his own master that he stands or falls. And he will be upheld, for the Lord is able to make him stand.}

I am trying to be okay in knowing no matter where I go I am going to be treated differently, I am not going to make friends easily. I am going to struggle my whole life with convictions and persecutions. And I need to be okay with that. 

The beauty of the world and the life we live is, that we coexist. I love thy neighbor whether he is Atheist, Jewish, Muslim, gay, or anything else. I don't let your beliefs and who you are prevent me from being friends with you. I know deep down in my heart, I am loyal and accepting of others - but  people don't dig to that level because they're scared of the word Christian, or conservative and don't want to take the time to get to know me. But just know, I will always love and support those who I call friend.

-M  

labeling myself: An Outsider

Since being in college, especially taking liberal art classes I have learned one thing, I am an outsider. College campuses, and the world are starting to spew hatred on Christians.  

I find it difficult to participate in class discussions, in fear of being laughed at or marked as a bigot or an idiot for believing in what I believe. In a world that tells you to find a voice, and to advocate for yourself I see that they aren't talking to the Christians, nor the Republicans of this country. Why don't I have the same privilege as left? Why am I not accepted? 

More importantly, why is this okay? To feel like I need to lessen myself on the account of being accepted by my classmates, friends and coworkers? I feel like I am living in fear of conviction of being myself. This is wrong in a society that wants complete and utter freedom among the masses of people, but yet I find myself becoming a minority. 

Today August 31st, 2015, I was laughed at in class when asking a serious question in a discussion in class. When all I said was: Though the constitution does not say what deity they believe in, when you read it, and are of Christian value, wouldn't you say that the constitution goes along with those of Christian value? People scoffed and rolled their eyes, when I was trying to learn in a class setting and participate on the question of: What values do you see in the Constitution of the United States? 

At that moment it made me not want to talk in class ever again, in fear of being attacked through other discussions, or in fear of offending anyone. I have to silence my voice because I am not accepted. 

Also, on this day as well I was told I was not going to be the new appointed Public Relations Chair of Western's Student Government Association. The person that got it, father is head of Student Affairs, best friends with the current Public Relations Director best friend. What am I suppose to do without those kind of connections? What am I suppose to do without those kind of connections even though I am more than qualified to hold this position. The student that got it over me isn't even a PR major like I am. 

Life is full of politicking, and I got my second or third taste in this matter. Now I realize I have to work ten times harder than other people because I am not privileged, I am not connected, and I am an outspoken Christian republican living in a liberal filled world - or at least inside our SGA.

My mom told me: "You need to advocate for yourself, no one else will." And this saying is so true, because if I keep living the life taking the back burner, living in fear, what do I accomplish? Nothing. I need to keep reminding myself, I am my own biggest fan, advocate and I need to believe in myself the way God does. Politicking, being labeled different, or an outsider can be a disadvantage, if I allow it to be.

From this day forward, I will let this lesson, this anger fuel me with inspiration to make sure no one feels the same way I do. No one feels like their voice doesn't matter, because it does. Your life matters, your views matter. Because at the end of the day, I will be stronger, and I will be wiser because I have to work for everything in life. This is what sets me apart from my competition. I will thrive, and I will survive. 

-M  

Story Time

I wanted to share on how I grew into my love of politics with you all.

Well, I can start off with saying it came at a very early age. I think my first political activism was in the third grade when we had to write persuasive papers. Everyone in my class was writing about how they wanted puppies, and how their parents should quit smoking. Not I. I wrote about how abortions should be illegal, in all sectors.

Now I know what you're thinking, this girl is lying, the third grade? I was informed as a child. I woke up with my mother and watched the news, listened to talk radio in the mornings as she drove me to school.

I tried to understand as much as I could as a young child, but I knew at a very early stage that I swung with the Republican parties. Yes maybe my mom influenced me, but my dad was a democrat. So I saw both sides.

Throughout middle school I was kicked out of my history and government classes because I didn't agree with the teachers because they would try to impose their own beliefs into our lessons. In eighth grade I was kicked out of my government class so many times that he would just send me to the principle's office. Though he called for a student discussion he didn't want to hear the research and the ideas I had because it didn't concur with his. It wasn't fair and it wasn't just.  At that moment I knew it was going to be like that my whole life believing what I believed.

Fast forward through high school to college..... My political beliefs were tested. So many political, social and moral things have happened since being 18 years old. So many professors swearing up and down that Republicans are evil and horrible humans. I began to think, wow am I horrible for believing in God? Am I horrible for believing America is great? Am I evil for thinking life is important?

Those ideas were shot down after I realized how crazy I sounded. Like why would I question myself? Why would I question something that I believed in for so long?

I became more confident in my ideas and morals as my sophomore year rolled around, and now with all the events of this past spring and summer... I think it's safe to say I am a sound individual who loves liberty, freedom and equality. But now I know when to speak and when not to speak on those topics and when to be strong and test the waters I'm in.

With this very ideas, is why I started my blog. An outlet to be free and to be myself. It is important to have a creative outlet and important to be confident in yourself. Being a republican and being sound in that choice is being celebrated with every post to this blog of mine.

-M

I'm not betraying my own kind

I live in the day and age where feminism is very in vogue. Feminism now means allowing our sexuality be visible, dressing the way we want, acting the way we want and demanding equal pay. As a woman, who lives on the more conservative side of life, I don't believe in the definition of feminism created in 2015.

According to Google, feminism means: the advocacy of women's rights on the grounds of political, social, and economic equality to men. 

Miley Cyrus is not a feminist, she is the opposite. Caitlyn Jenner isn't a woman, he will never be a woman - but yet people clump Caitlyn in the feminist movement. What does this mean for the next generations to come? Allowing women to prance around naked and taking whips to mens back because it shows are confident and powerful to men? I hope not. 

The more radical feminists actively seek to overthrow any form of male dominance in society, to the point of opposing the biblical forms of marriage, defending abortion on demand, and promoting lesbianism. Radical feminists deny there is any difference between men and women, teaching that any noticable differences between the sexes are due solely to social conditioning. - Hence why I refuse to shop at target anymore, they are making women's clothing more open to men who seek to dress as women. I am not okay with potentially buying, on accident, gender "friendly" clothing. 

My sorority recently got mad at me because I said I was anti Feminist. I do not believe in the pop-culture way of feminism. 

I believe in the Bible. And the feminist movements call upon rebellious behavior against the roles God gave to us, the movement now is to reserve the roles of mankind, and make it anew. Before pop culture, the feminist movement was a positive movement, something I would've supported. It was created to give women god-given rights, and equality to men, now it is to tear down any social norm, and biblical belief that Christians practice today. 

Here are some Bible verses that should remind you, we are all equal in God's eyes:
1. “There is neither Jew nor Greek, slave nor free, male nor female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus” Galatians 3:28 
2. “For everything in the world—the cravings of sinful man, the lust of his eyes and the boasting of what he has and does—comes not from the Father but from the world” 1 John 2:16 (Feminism is a false lust, it will not bring you power, it will not bring you pride) 
3. Pride goes before destruction, and a haughty spirit before a fall. Proverbs 16:18 

With the word of God, I am constantly reminded that I am equal to my brothers in Christ. I am worthy of God, and that I do not need to fall into the sinful ways that is feminism in 2015. I am equal with voting, I am equal if I perceive myself as an equal. I do not need to say I am a feminist to my sorority sisters because they do not see what I see in the world. And that's okay. They do not understand the biblical means of being a woman. And that's okay too.

I do not have to please anyone with my beliefs, except myself and God because he is the ultimate judging factor in my life. And if I believe that the Husband is suppose to be the head of the household, the provider to the family, and that he is suppose to help me in my spiritual walk with God, then that's more than okay in my eyes. 

Women stand up for the traditions of God, and the beliefs of your own. You do not have to fall in fear of trying to be equal. Equality is given to us in heaven. God loves us all the same. And to me, that is ENOUGH. 

-M

Life, Liberty, and Property - or the Pursuit of Happiness

The title above was quoted by Edmund Burke, a past time philosopher of Western Political Theory.

Burke is known as the founding father of conservatism. But it wasn't the conservatism that we know and think of in this generation. In his time of philosophy it meant valuing tradition, and preserving mankind.

When I think of his words, I feel connected to them. America isn't what the founding fathers wanted it to be, the American dream is crumbling - as socialism rises.

Tradition, is and will be something that should be valued by all us Americans. We celebrate the fourth of July, we celebrate anything worth a happy or dominate memory. Tradition is crumbling my friends, and life liberty and property will soon be shattered. the pursuit of happiness is becoming the main central force of American culture. We celebrate diversity, we cry together, we fight together.

Lately, Washington has been making sure we don't honor tradition. We don't elect statesmen that honor what the citizens want anymore, we elect career politicians who want to put their best interest in our way of life. If Burke could see what America is like now, (even though he was across the pond) he would say we are doing American a dis-justice.

There is only one thing I disagree with Burke on, and it is that we should not avoid revolutions. America needed a couple in the past, and we need one now. We have let the career politicians, the immoral decide the fate of this country. And I for one, am sick of it.

I have to remind myself it could be worse, but America and the American dream is becoming a distant memory. People of my generation think going from $7.25 an hour minimum wage to $15.00 an hour at McDonalds is the American dream. NEWSFLASH it is not.

We need a new President, new leaders at the Capitol to restore tradition, and honor to the Red, White, and Blue. We need something to believe in again, because before we know it, We'll change our flag and our stripes to something that looks like socialism. And that scares me.

We aren't preserving, or thriving, we're becoming a country that wants everyone to be the same, but yet find diversity in it. Telling children it's okay to identify as someone else, robbing them of a childhood by handing them electronics instead of imaginary games and outdoor time. Telling people it's okay to mutilate the body God gave you, but the second you do, you're discriminated against because you can't find love with the gender you want. Is this a world you want to live in? Being confused, and violated and robbed of the core values of our Constitution and Bill of Rights?

I think as Americans, we need to step back, think long and hard about the upcoming elections and pick someone that preserves tradition, preserves mankind, and preserves honor. Because if we don't a negative revolution will take place, of something dark and evil. Instead of a revolution of life, liberty and pursuit of happiness - preserving our core values. Touching base on what makes us Americans.

-M